Good job, England
by LethalIngenuity
Summary: England believes that he has turned America and Canada into muffins, and in an attempt to make everything right, everything just goes wrong.


**hi. im not dead. i just have writer's cube. (ajajaja)**

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><p>"Eek! Al, don't grab my ass!" Canada whispered loudly, (Canada doesn't yell, he's too reserved for that), as he tripped and nearly dropped the tray of muffins he was carrying.<p>

"I didn't grab your ass, your ass grabbed my hand. Tell your ass to stop raping me" He exclaimed, as he casually swiped a muffin off the tray.

"Al! Stop that! This is the fifth batch I had to make because _someone_ keeps eating them!"

America laughed, and stuffed the entire muffin down his mouth.

America had decided that it was time for some good ol' brotherly bonding time (no, it wasn't an excuse to avoid the gigantic pile of paper work left on his desk back in D.C) and it was a really long time since he had been to Canada (yesterday didn't count because Canada said he was too busy to play with America so America ended up calling up England to insult his cooking) and because he loved muffins. Canadian muffins especially.

"C'mon, let's decorate 'em!" whined America as he hurriedly pulled open all of the drawers and cupboards, not exactly sure what to look for.

Canada sighed. "Al, the muffins aren't going to run away from you, so calm down."

America calmed down as soon as he saw Canada placed an assortment of coloured tubes of icing on the table.

"Mattie, you're the best!" America squealed, as he dove for the red, blue, and white tubes of icing.

"Oh no no no no, we are _not_ putting the American flag on these" Canada chided, as he slapped America's hand away. "We are giving these _apology _cupcakes to Arthur, to _apologize_for you being a jackass yesterday and insulting his cooking." Canada paused. "Even if everything you said was all true."

America pursed his lips. "But the American flag is so awesome! Who wouldn't want the stars and stripes on their muffin, or car?"

Canada face palmed. Ever since that game of cops and robbers, he still hadn't been able to completely remove the messily painted American flag off his car that America had created with his paint ball gun.

"And bee tee way," America added. "I thought we were making muffins, not cupcakes."

"Muffins aren't muffins if you decorate them. They become cupcakes."

America shook his head. "Silly Canadia. That's like saying when you decorate an evergreen tree with lights and ornaments, it becomes a Christmas tree!"

"Exactly."

"But it doesn't!" exclaimed America, his arms flailing. He scooped up a handful of muffin-cupcakes and held them close to his chest.

"Don't listen to him." America whispered. "You are muffins, and you are beautiful. Nothing will ever change that, not even some frilly sprinkles."

Canada placed his hands on his hips.

"Are you going to keep talking to the _cupcakes_ or are you going to help me start decorating the _cupcakes." _

"Liar! They're muffins!" Yelled America, as he chucked a whatever-the-hell-they-were at Canada. With an oven gloved hand, Canada gracefully caught the muffin before it reached his head. And then whipped it at America's crotch.

"Foul play!" America shouted, as he dropped all the muffins and fell to the floor. Feeling slightly guilty, Canada leaned over to check if America was alright. To his horror, America's grimace suddenly turned into a gigantic maniacal smile, and it was already too late to back away. America had grabbed his arm and pulled Canada towards him. With his other hand, he pulled out a tube of icing, uncapped it, and squeezed all of its contents down Canada's still gaping mouth. Canada fumbled for a weapon and found one of the muffins America had dropped. He clenched it in his fist, and smooshed it into his laughing brother's mouth. The two continued to grapple on the floor, creating a muffin-cupcake-icing mess all over the floor. America finally got on top of Canada and squeezed red icing all over his face.

"Victory!" America yelled. He was quick to get on his feet, and surveyed the carnage and destruction that was once known as Canada's kitchen. His eyes hovered over at two untouched muffins on the table, where beside it lay tubes of yellow, purple, and blue icing. He grinned, and grabbed the tubes and begun his master piece on the muffins. When he was finished, he stepped back to admire his work. By this time, Canada was also on his feet. He eyed the cupcakes, which looked vaguely familiar.

"Is that supposed to be me?" he questioned jokingly.

"Hell to the no! Look at the eyes! Such a beautiful and glorious sky blue! Not the colour of violet suck! " Canada punched America in the shoulder causing him to slightly wince, but didn't stop his continuing rant. "It's obviously me! Arthur would be so frilled to take a bite outta me. Get it? Outta me? That ones you." He pointed to the cupcake that looked exactly like the one beside it, only the eyes were purple.

Canada was about to slap America across the face but America had suddenly grabbed Canada's raised hand.

"Let's go to the grocery store and buy more muffin mixes! And icing!"

"But our clothes are a mess! Icing everywhere! My kitchen! Kumakichiiiiiii! Saaave meeee!" Canada protested. America paid no attention to all of his brother's shouts and proceeded to drag him out the door. Kumajirou sighed, and as he closed the door, he noticed a bright yellow ball of feathers fly through.

"What are you doing here, Gilbird?" Asked Kumajirou.

"I came to chill with you! Let's go out and play!"

Kumajirou shrugged his shoulders and opened the door.

"Okay, I got to clean up the kitchen first. Then let's go." 

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><p>"Francis! Hurry, hurry!"<p>

"Arthur, even if you weren't dragging me, I would still follow you –only god knows why- so you can let go of me now."

"Alright." Huffed Arthur. The two stood before Canada's house, both trying to catch their breath.

"So," said France. "Why exactly did you kidnap me out of France, shove me into a plane, plop me down in America, only so that you could drag my ass to Canada?"

"I think I did something bad. With my magic." Exclaimed England.

France laughed. "Is that not a frequent occurrence? Don't tell me, Alfred called you, insulted your cooking, you got drunk, cursed Alfred, and woke up the next day realizing that you might have turned our dear America into a cat?"

"That was just one time!" England shouted indignantly, but Francis knew he hit the bulls eye, since the accusation wasn't denied. England eyed Canada's place frantically. "Alfred's got to be here. He's never actually at home – always bothering someone else, that git."

"Did you hear about that thing called the telephone they invented? I hear it allows you to call someone else from a distance. Say, a distance such as England to America!"

England smacked Francis on the back of the head. "I already tried calling him! And Matthew! Both of their phones are busy!" 

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><p>"Hi Mattie."<p>

"Hi Al."

"Teehee."

"Al, is it really necessary to call me when I'm walking right beside you?"

"Yes."

"…" 

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><p>"Oh bloody hell! Why aren't they answering the door?"<p>

"Because they are out enjoying this beautiful day, like any other normal person. Mon ami, how many drinks did you have on the plane?"

"Not enough!" was England's reply, as he kicked down Canada's door. France shook his head. Really, why did England even bring him along?

"Alfred! Where are you? Meow!" hollered England, as he ran through the house. "The kitchen!" England yelled. On natural instinct, France sprinted towards the kitchen. The thought of England in a kitchen made him cringe. When he entered the kitchen, to his surprise, Arthur was sobbing uncontrollably on the floor, and was cradling something in his hand.

"Mon ami, are you alright?" France said worriedly. England just continued to sob.

"Shh, shh… What's that you've got in your hand?"

Arthur mumbled something.

"Quoi?" asked France.

"It's Alfred and Matthew!" England thrust his hand towards France, and France saw that sure enough, there were two cupcakes with what appeared to be the image of the twins on each one.

"I turned them into muffins!" England cried.

"Cupcakes." France corrected.

"Muffins!" 

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><p>"Alright, are you ready?"<p>

"Awesome is always ready!"

Some how, Canada and America had run into Germany, Italy and Prussia in the grocery store. Canada highly doubted it was a coincidence, because the first thing America said was, "Are you bitches ready to lose?" Judging by the look on Germany's face, he had no idea what was going on either. Then America and Prussia had suddenly turned on their brothers, and wacked them both on the head, causing them to stagger. Within that moment of confusion, America handcuffed Canada and Prussia managed to do the same to his own brother. Using his immense strength, America heaved Canada into an empty shopping cart. It took both Prussia and America to do the same to Germany, but soon the two were set.

"Al, I thought we were just going grocery shopping. This is kidnap!" Yelled Canada, as Italy giggled and placed bunny ear headbands on him and Germany. Germany was yelling something in German, and Prussia just kept laughing and taking pictures with his cell phone.

"Brother, you better not do anything with those photos!" He yelled in angry German.

"Oh don't worry, dear brother of mine. That would never happen!" 

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><p><strong>Gilbert Beilschmidt <strong>tagged **Matthew Williams **and **Ludwig Beilschmidt** in a picture.  
>3 minutes ago · Like ·<p>

**Lars Von Dijk **do I dare ask what's going on?  
>3 minutes ago · Like<p>

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **you are about to experience such an abundance of awesome that your computer will blow up.  
>3 minutes ago · Like<p>

**Matthias Anderson **wat? do. not. get.  
>2 minutes ago · Like<p>

**Feliciano Vargas **I will be recording it all, so don't worry!~  
>2 minutes ago · Like<p>

**Roderich Edelstein** I'm pretty sure the majority of us are worrying about the contents of that video.  
>2 minutes ago · Like<p>

**Feliciano Varags **What do you mean? :S  
>1 minute ago · Like<p>

**Alfred F. Jones **he thinks were filming a porno, DUUUUUUH  
>1 minute ago · Like<p>

**Gilbert Beilschmidt **arent we?  
>1 minutes ago · Like<p>

**Alfred F. Jones **ssshhh they don't have to know!  
>35 seconds ago Like <p>

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><p>"Feli, count us down!" shouted Prussia, as he gripped the handle of the shopping cart with Germany inside it tight.<br>Italy stood poised and ready, white flag in his hand.

"Seven!"

"Al, stop! Let me out!"

"Six!"

"No way jose! You're the one who wanted to grocery shopping!"

"Five!"

"Brother, when I get out of here, I'm going to kill you."

"Four!"

"Sorry, can't hear you over my awesome."

"Three!"

And at three, America sprinted past Italy, Matthew screaming his lungs out in the shopping cart.

"Hey, no fair!" yelled Prussia, as he sprinted after them. Germany just mentally face palmed. 

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><p>"Francis, help me out here."<p>

"…."

"Come you git, I need to turn Alfred back!" England waved his wand about a few times, and chanted. With a flick of his wrist, he smirked.

"That should do it." He said with a smile.

France peered over England's shoulder to take a look at the cupcakes.

"They're still cupcakes."

"Muffins. And the spell takes a bit of some time to take affect."

"How long?" Asked France.

"An hour."

France sighed. 

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><p>"Al, I can't believe you and Gil would do that to me!" Canada stomped his feet indignantly. America just whistled.<p>

"You have to admit, you looked pretty sexy. Nice curves."

"Al!"

Canada would never understand why if Alfred or Gilbert lost the shopping cart race why it was either Ludwig or himself that had to dress up in a playboy bunny outfit. Or why they even bothered to go grocery shopping when they didn't even get any muffin mix or icing. And even though Gilbert had lost, Ludwig had threatened to punch them out if they tried to dress him up. So they ended up dressing up Matthew instead, and then he tore it all off and threatened to kill them with a hockey stick.

"I hate you."

"Love you too, Mattie."

As the two walked home, there was a sudden blinding light. The two found themselves on the ground, and when the light disappeared, America started laughing really hard.

"Dude" he said, as he wiped away a tear. "You've got big boobs!"

Canada looked down, and yes indeed, he did have big boobs. But he looked back at America and smiled.

"You do too, bro."

America looked down and stopped laughing.

"Mattie." He whispered. "I think we've turned into –"

"Girls?"

"-mermaids." America turned around on his back and looked at his legs. "No tail. Damn, you're right. We're girls."

He squeezed at Canada's left boob, causing Canada to blush and moan a bit.

"Stop that, Al."

But Al didn't stop. He kept advancing and grinning like a little five year old.

"I bet you England has something to do with this."

He squeezed a bit harder. He didn't stop until Canada kicked his crotch.

"Ow!" Yelped America. "Damnit! I still have _that_!" he rolled on the floor in pain.

In the distance, Canada saw Prussia walking towards them. Did he follow them?

"Oh dear." Exclaimed Canada.

Not wanting to be seen by Prussia the way he was, Canada grabbed America and ran as fast as he could to his house. It was too late though, because Prussia had already seen Canada, and started calling out to him.

For some reason, Canada's door was knocked down, but Canada paid no attention as he dragged America into his house and tried to look for a hiding place. He somehow ended up in the kitchen but the weight of America put Canada off balance and he tripped, causing America and him to tumble on to the cold hard floor. Canada had face planted into two cupcakes and – was that a body underneath him?-, so the fall wasn't so bad. America wasn't so lucky.

"Matthew?" Said a very small voice from underneath Canada.

"Francis?" replied Canada, as he got off of his former caretaker.

"Alfred?" sobbed England.

"Arthur?" asked America.

"Oh Alfred!" England threw himself at America and buried his face into America's chest.

"I promise to stop using spells! I'll never turn you into a muffin ever again!"

"Cupcake." France corrected, as his eyes widened and he looked at Canada's chest. "Mon dieu.."

"Um Artie, can you stop that? It feels kinda weird."

"What do you mean – oh."

England stopped and realized he was burying his face into Alfred's… boobs.

"Shite. The spell went slightly wrong."

"I knew you had something to do with this!" shouted America.

"Change us back!" Canada demanded, as he looked back towards the door. "Quick, before-"

"KESESESESESESESE!"

Prussia was in the kitchen, rapidly taking photos of the twins with his phone.

"This is awesome, this is so awesome!" he yelled.

Canada looked at England, and then to America. "This is all your fault!" he shouted, and he stomped off to his room.

"Hey Mattie! Wait, come back! I promise I'll delete the pictures! Maybe!" Yelled Prussia, as he followed the angry Canadian.

Prussia and Canada left, leaving a still shocked England and France in the kitchen with America.

"I'll change you back soon, let me just... Take in all of this" Stated England, who finally managed to sober up.

"Actually, I kinda like these." America exclaimed, as he held the two mounds that were on his chest. "They're a bit heavy, but squishy and bouncy. Fun to play with."

"Never mind. I'll change you back, _immediately._ Come along now, Francis!_"_

And as England dragged America to Canada's living room, France was left there to wonder what was wrong with his family.

"Francis, where the bloody hell are you?" Shouted the Briton.

France sighed again (He was doing that a lot today) and trudged over to the living room, just wishing the day would be over quickly. 

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><p><strong>Should their be a continuation? ya? no? should i just leave yall wondering, "hmm, i wonder whatll happen next?" I DONT KNOW THIS IS Y U SHOULD REVIEW AND TELL ME1!<br>******


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